Help Yourself by Helping Others
Elbert Hubbard said “Down
in their hearts, wise men know this truth: the only way to help yourself is
to help others.”
I believe that
statement. I also believe that
at the end of ones life, the sum of their experiences will be measured not
in what they accumulated as material possessions, who they knew, where they
traveled, what offices they held or what they did for themselves.
It will be measured by relationships and how they served others along
the way. At the final roll-call,
it’s the people that matter.
To that end, as an
adult I have volunteered in a number of ways.
But all of them, while technically classified as “volunteerism”, felt
more like “playtime”. My
activities were both needed and fun, but they didn’t make a deep, meaningful
impact on people’s lives. That
was a void that I wanted to fill.
To fill that void, I
had given serious thought about what I could do that would be meaningful,
but wouldn’t seem like “work”.
It needed to be in an area that I had some interest, in order to have
staying power over the years.
And, it needed to be in an interesting environment and must also serve as a
personal growth experience.
Eventually, after
reading many magazine and internet articles on the psychology of being lost
in the woods, studying (to some degree) wilderness survival (in case you
folks have to come search for me some day, heaven forbid) and books on
interesting wilderness rescues, the solution occurred to me.
Since I love the outdoors, why not see if there are local volunteer
groups that search for lost hikers?
I did an internet
search, found TSAR, attended the January meeting, and by February 16th
was COQ and out on my first mission.
I’m very pleased to report that it was a very, very rewarding
experience.
As I pulled into Base
(a Fire House), I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was a “know nothing”
newbie who was more likely to get in the way than to make a meaningful
contribution. I worried that I
would slow the process down, or worse, make mistakes that would jeopardize
the search and endanger lives.
I signed in, looked
around and immediately saw two familiar faces – Derrick and Peter. Alfredo
would soon join us. I pulled up
a chair, and engaged in a little light conversation, but more than anything,
I was just trying to soak in the situation.
In the interest of learning, I wanted to do far more listening than
talking. And, as the “newbie” I
really just wanted to blend in a little and not do or say anything stupid or
inappropriate. As Publilius
Syrus said, “I often regret that I
have spoken; never that I have been silent.”
While others were
greeting friends they hadn’t seen since the last search, discussing dogs,
equipment and other topics, I noticed that there were 4 “civilians” talking
to official looking people who turned out to be the local Police Detectives
and the SAR officials running the search.
One woman in particular, and a young man, each in turn, turned away
from the conversation and looked around the room.
These two people had a look about them that in every day life, they
would normally be very confidant of themselves, and in control.
But today, the look on their faces was adolescent.
It was almost infantile, scanning the room, searching the eyes and
voices of the SAR members for reassurance and comfort that their friend
would be found. I don’t know if
they found what they were looking for, but I was beginning to find what I
was looking for.
I took a deep breath
and a feeling came upon me that I was doing the right thing.
This was a way that I could make a difference and touch people’s
lives. And, in return, they’d
never know anything about me.
In a moment of crisis in their lives, I’d be there, doing what I can
to share their burden, and put their disrupted lives back in order.
Even if the outcome was the worst, they’d at least have closure.
And they wouldn’t know anything about me, not even my name.
Is there a greater way to serve, than to do it without personal
recognition? As Charles Lamb
said “The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth.”
The beauty of it all is
that it doesn’t even matter if I make the find.
I’m there, fulfilling my individual role for the greater good. As
Kevin put it too me, “I’m finding where they’re not”, which is an important
process. But when the overall
team makes the find, then by default, I also make the find.
Every task is needed and every task is significant.
Every minute spent training, or searching, adds significance to the
subject’s lives, their friends and family’s lives, and therefore, my life.
Soon, we were assigned
to a task and were sent out into the field.
Before the day was done, we’d do three tasks in all.
At the end of the day, my fears of being “in the way” were completely
unfounded. All three TSAR
members, and the FTLs we were assigned to, all made me feel very much needed
and a part of the team. When
“things” happened, they all kept in mind that I was new, and took the time
to tell me what was happening, why it was happening, and taught me a number
of new things. But more
importantly, I had the feeling that they were doing it willingly and
happily. I wasn’t just a “COQ” –
I was a searcher. I wasn’t a
“newbie” – I just didn’t have the same level of experience as they did.
I wasn’t “in the way” – I was a member of a team out on tasks.
In short, I felt both needed and wanted.
In the end, the subject
wasn’t found and the search has been suspended. I can only imagine how great
it will feel when I’m on a mission and a Find is made.
While I wish that the outcome would
have been different, I nonetheless left with a feeling of significance.
I had done something important that day - something much bigger and
better than catching up on chores, or getting in a little personal
recreation. I touched lives.
No matter what life continues to throw at the friends and family of
the subject, they’ll always know that unpaid but caring individuals took
time out of their own busy lives, to search for someone they’ve never met
and knew nothing about. They’ll always know that people, nameless and mostly
faceless people, responded to their need, without asking for anything in
return. But, we do get something
in return – something deep down inside of us - don’t we?
What better way is
there to serve, and find personal significance, than that?
One thing I know: the only ones among you
who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to
serve. -
Albert Schweitzer
Oh, yeah… and the Red
Cross Spaghetti was awesome!
J